I wrote this track a couple of days before the Russian large-scale invasion of Ukraine. An hour before all major cities of my country were bombed for the first time I was preparing new music to meet the spring with. Instead, I’ve met the horrible emergency. I’ve learned not to panic in vain, I’ve adapted to sirens and curfew, to a constant need to help others – to wartime.
The title was supposed to be а self-fulfilling prophecy for me. I am chasing love. Instead, it is hatred for the occupiers that helps me to deal with the new reality today. This and also, pity and disgust for russia. I guess, these feelings will never change, but I want something else. Will my peaceful life ever be back here?
There’s a new trend in Instagram now, which makes Ukrainians «post a random photo before the war». These tiny documents of peaceful times may seem nostalgic because our lives did really change dramatically. But as soon as we refuse to give up on our lost peace, the regretful feeling becomes overshadowed by the will to win. I want this track to be such a document – both nostalgic in the moment and hopeful for the next life, an image of a peaceful world before and after the war.
Also, here's the music video I made at the same time, mixing personal archive with some Youtube content:
youtu.be/G-x37mjYt38
I guess, after months of infowar I felt the damage to come. Sure, it’s ridiculous how I’ve chosen footage of such simulated destruction in other countries considering how russian missiles ruined Ukrainian cities for real. But I prefer to leave this clip as it is. Video pieces of evidence of russian war crimes are made for the trial, not for music.
All the income will be donated to the very local Kyiv volunteers I’m currently working with.
released March 13, 2022